• asoulneversold 9w

    I adjusted so much for people
    I don't know how to understand myself now,
    I look for a language
    Words and expressions
    That could be enough to know
    Actually how am I feeling!
    Enough to mine my own heart
    To extract the realities
    To feel something for myself,
    Without fearing 'what they'd think'
    Without fearing 'what if it hurt?'
    Without fearing to be judged
    By those for whom I molded my beliefs,
    Changed the way I thought,
    To accommodate their perspective,
    To make a room so that they could feel home in my heart!
    I feel like a corpse
    Lost all meanings to live,
    In an attempt to spend a whole life modifying myself
    To have some precious moments and memories whom I loved more than
    My- self: My
    Anguishes and complaints and wishes;
    My all and all I ever had!

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    I mastered a whole new vocabulary
    Just to speak to you in your language,
    Now I am struggling for a medium
    To understand where I'm standing!