Dearth of fullsome life while busy in having a sinful life:
To be frank I'm not meant to be killed wild behalf of people, I don't do sins wantedly. This world is full of jealous to make one bad willingly to the point there's no ultimate way to come out of, and to know and trust good people are bad for life and they do sins intentionally like a way they can't even live their life peacefully and show faces to the world. People die to listen, bear and to see the sinful persons faces who try to kill them while they're still breathing. I'm physically weak, I know I'm not fit I escaped from world of securities to insecurities and living with no hopes like I'm not living my actual life. I have thin and weak hair to be bald tomorrow but I'm happy having all this! Hoping tomorrow would be a miracle of this waitings. And I still hope I can live and lead a fullsome life. I love playing and giggling with kids, if I'm not meant to that anymore I'm helpless. I don't reach my goals at one exact points because I'm the world's unlucky person on planet unless until if I bore physical hell. My exact dreams and habituals will turn to a hell in no time very unexpectedly. I'm me, my failures, hurts and hell will be always and forever with me. Taking blames of others which is not rightful because I scold myself for not being truthful on my way, I mock at the living God, showing I'm mad at myself, I sin what sin do I need beyond this? My kind of exact dreams will vanish at any angle because I am not eligible to hand over that. Losing important people in life is such bad era that I'm remaining day by day very shorter with losing people with love and affection.