SILENT SCREAMS OF A TEEN Please don't hate me for this ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear parents, There are so many things that I keep bottled up inside because there is no way in hell that you would ever understand me if I told you. I love you both very much, and I know how it must be hard to understand. I just really wish you could.
Why won’t you let me be myself? Why is it so hard? Every time I’ve tried talking to you, you shut me out. Maybe why can't you try listening, just listening? I talk a lot, you know?
You have raised me with such strong moral and values. You taught me to raise my voice against the wrong. Now when I question you why, why do we end up in a fight?
Ever since I was young, I’ve always been different, you both say this endlessly. I’ve always been different than the rest of the family. I didn’t process things the same way you guys did. I took everything a bit more time to understand things. All I ask of you is that you give me some time to understand the world.
I know you want me to be the best I can be, and I hope you understand that I try. I'm trying to make you proud but I just can't. But please understand that I have my own plans about how I want to spend my life. Please, stop forcing your choice of careers on me. I might not be able to earn six or seven figure amounts, but I’ll be happy. Or is the money I earn more important than my mental health to you? I know how much time and money you have spent on me. But you keep bringing it up, saying that I just sit around and waste your money and trust me, it hurts.
You expect me to make my own decisions, but then you question every other decision I make. How do you expect me to learn if I don’t make a few mistakes along the way? I just wish you could step into my shoes one day. I wish you could understand why I cry myself to sleep. I wish you could be there to hug me when I need it. While I'm staring at sky you think that I'm lost thinking about conversation I had with a random person on social media. But I wish you could understand that, it means that I'm worried about myself thinking WHO AM I. Because I'm stuck between who I'm and who you expect me to be.
But, I love you both a lot. If I ever heard of the word love, it's you both I first think about.