I remember the summer glow with the scent of petrichor hanging in the air
You feel both warm and cold at the same time
That's how you made me feel
I remember how you interlaced our fingers and kept kissing my knuckles and holding me closer to keep me cosy when we went ice skating
I remember how when I kissed you I figured out something
That it isn't like in the films
No electricity or sparks between us like a circuit
But it was more than that
A feeling that you couldn't be described but only be felt
To this day I don't know how to name it.
I remember how you back hug me and tickle my sides when I was working
I would stop working and we kiss afterwards till we forget we can survive only by breathing.
You always seem to know how to get my heart
Why did you go after you stole it?
Why did you go after making me feel things that I didn't even know I could or I had?
Why did you go after telling me I am the one?
They tell people leave but memories stay
To me, it's the worst
Why did you make so many memories with me just to leave?
I remember so much but I couldn't feel them again no matter how bad I want to.
I want to feel you kiss my hand so many times that I get irritated and wriggle away
I want to feel how your delicate lips felt against mine
I want to feel you tickle me till I can't breathe.
I want to feel how you made me special
But all I have of you are memories
I hate that I still remember them but I couldn't forget
You are a permanent tattoo that stays with me till I die
While for you I was just a pen dot that you washed away.
Did I make you ugly? Am I not good enough?
To this day I don't know the answer
To this day I don't know why you let me drown when you said you will teach me to swim
To this day I don't know why you left me isolated in the dark when I held your hand and calmed you when you had nightmares.
But I realised that some questions are better unanswered.