(I tried to sum up the hour long phone conversation in the description.)
How dare you make yourself the victim? How could ANYONE, regardless of being a narcissist, ever think it was okay to confront their daughter with being sexually abused, and then make the conversation all about themselves? This is NOT about YOU! You do not get to be the center of the story, and you damn sure do not get to make yourself look like a better mother because of it! You FAILED to protect me, you FAILED to protect my sister, and before then, you FAILED to protect my brother before he ever even knew HOW to hurt children. We were all sexually abused! You just never noticed because you were either drunk or never home!
This was not accidental. It was a result of pure negligence on YOUR part.
You did not care that you lost my siblings eventually. You then just directed all of your abuse and neglect onto me. You act shocked that my brother hurt me, but what about the cafe, mom?
What about that back room that you forced me to go into with all of the other children while you got drunk and high in the front? Do you know what happened there? Did you know that everyone knew there were children alone back there, including creepy drunk men? What do you think they did when they went back there to “check” on us? Did you think they were giving us freaking candy?? No! They were doing the same sorts of things my brother taught me to do, constantly!
Do you know that I still fight flashbacks every single day from that time? Or that I still can’t trust men that I do not know extremely well?
Would you even care if you did, or would you find some way to try to make others pity you?
I want to be done. I want to find a way to turn off all of the emotional connections I have toward you. I want to be strong enough to block your number and social media accounts for good. I’m praying now that someday I will have that strength.
I’m tired of being repeatedly hurt. I’m tired of desperately seeking your love when even in the darkest of matters, all you can think about is yourself.
I deserve better and so does everyone else you manipulate.