• thoughts_of_a_teenage_child 6w

    My last goodbye

    I remember the day like it was yesterday. I had blown up on you, you said you deserved everything that was coming to you.

    I didn't see the message until it was too late. Even then... I didn't think anything of it. I rode on the bus home, with this gut feeling that something was wrong, but I disregarded it all. As the bus pulled up, I saw my mom on the porch... I just thought that I was in trouble again... then, the questions started. Have you heard about gage? I had no idea what she was talking about. and at that time... my whole world stopped. Gage killed himself. This is what happens when you treat people cruelly, my mother said. I couldn't think. Everything in my life froze. I choked out sobs and locked myself in the bathroom. My mom made me come out and "face the real world". I laid in my bed crying for hours and hours. I punched so many things, screamed in agonizing pain. the next day. I didn't show to school. Day after that... I did, but that's when everything had started going downhill. I thought I had known what pain and depression was... I was wrong. It felt like I had millions of pounds on my shoulders. I started skipping class, crying the whole time. I stopped caring about so much, I ruined so many relationships. My mom almost took her life because of me. My grades dropped significantly, I stopped eating, I quit on everything. My whole life fell apart and it was all because of me... What if I can't pick up the pieces?

    ~@thoughts_of_a_teenage_child