"I don't want to let you go" I whispered keeping my head in his chest while sobbing like a kid.
"Don't worry gudli , it's just for 6 month once my internship is over , I will come back.Now stop crying baba" Rishi said kissing my forehead
That was the last conversation we had and he left the platform with the loud noise of train. We used to contact through texts and calls after returning from work place. We used to share how our days went ,what we did ,what we cooked to eat. Things were going smooth for few months . I was counting the days of his return. He had said his internship is going to over in December 13.
It was October 14 , I was given my first assignment of Interior design in a big corporate sector. I was so happy that I want to share this first with Rishi. I texted him about the moment with a smile emoji. He didn't replied. I thought he was busy so I put my phone in bag and left for home. I finished my dinner and checked my phone still there was no reply. I again consoled myself that he might be tired after work and went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I checked my phone first but there was still no reply. With fear and doubt in mind I left the phone and got ready for office.while going in the bus I called him several times he didn't pick up the phone. In evening when i was watching his photos he called back and said he was so busy in a project that he didn't get time to talk with her and said he was happy for me . Before I could say anything he said bye with a tired voice and cut the phone. From that day we talked less and days went when we don't even talk. I used to stare at his photos and weep late in the night .I remember all those moments we have shared and wish to relive those moments.
It was Dec 12, I called him, asked him about his train timing and he said his train will reach at 6 in the evening and said he was going to sleep and cut off the phone. I was watching the clock from that moment.With every ticking of the clock my adrenaline rush was increasing with happiness. Finally the moment came . I put on his favourite red kurta and left for the station and waited for him. The clock Ticked 6 , and with those deadly sound a train arrived in the platform. I looked here and there anxiously for few minutes and after some moments the train left making the same sound. But neither Rishi nor his ever smiling face with those chubby cheeks are there. I searched the entire station in nervousness and tension and I failed to find him. I thought he might have missed his train . I called him ,his phone was switched off. I dialed several times yet the answer was same. With despair I sat on the bench and looked at the rail line. I could realise the sound of train was getting low like my hope of holding Rishi in my arms.
I couldn't hold myself and cried hiding my face. Few moments later I wiped my tears and started walking to home. The sun was setting so as the liitle life left in me. The road where we had walked holding each other mane times was looking like a new road to walk. The five minute journey from station to home was feeling like I have been walking since ages from one home to another with a hope of being accepted ,a hope of being loved. I reached home.I could hear my mom asking me something but I was so lost in my drowning world everything was looking smoky. I went straight to the washroom, locked myself and cried for hours like a kid who has been refused to get her favourite toys. I don't know what was the time , probably my eyes were tired , I washed my face, came out, changed my dress and put that red kurta back in the closet and slept holding his photo in my hand. I could see a canvas in my pillow in the morning ,don't know whether it was made with tears or the colours I have filled in my life with Rishi's presence.
I have heard people saying you have moved to America with your new project and Newly wedded wife. I want to believe those stories about you from our friends but I don't want to believe that,my heart doesn't want to believe that. The promises you had made ,the memories we had made, the moments we had spent refuse to kill the hope that you will return one day.
Six year has already been passed. Every evening I go to the station at sharp 5.55 in a hope that you will return one day. I wait in the bench sitting in one side leaving one side in a hope that you will fill it one day and all I get is a dimming hope. I see thousands of unknown faces and search for a known face in all these times and all I get a picture of us where I let you go.I write a letter every day sitting in the bench and leave that in the railline when I come back . When I sit in my balcony and watch those train passing in the railline I wish you are in one train and the wait continued as you said you will come back!!