I wish I could be honest.
The curtain of filters needs to be shredded to pieces sometimes, I know that. But I am helpless.
Filters are like polite lies, the only difference being, polite lies are used to not hurt other people and filters to not hurt our ownselves.
I live an almost unfiltered life, ALMOST!
I want to block all the unnecessarily regular emails that address me like a friend with my name in bold.
I want Instagram to remove the 'close friends' feature, because I hate to see the constant big black '0' that stares me in the face with a smirk.
I wish my noise-cancellation earphones could block my ridiculous self-loathing thoughts while Katy Perry 'roars' in my ears.
I desperately need x-ray glasses that could make me differentiate fake friends from real, you know like actually scan them and let me know what they feel about me (might come in handy for a cute guy).
I know that it's not fair that I use a blemish-free filter to hide my pimples but I also can't help being super self-conscious.
I know I should not constantly keep checking if my followers have increased or my likes are flooding in, but I also can't kill my anxiety.
I know my smile doesn't always reach my eyes but I still click dozens of selfies and apply various filters on each so-called candid.
I reply to people with all types of emojis with a straight face.
I blindly 'double tap' even if I disagree to PDA, to lame jokes, plagiarized quotes and over-the-top 'filtered' faces.
I click pictures of the cafés I go to and also of the disgusting green tea that I drink.
I wish I could capture my real smile and post it for the world to see, unfiltered.
I wish I could be honest sometimes.
Not with the world, just with myself, maybe.