• ylviia 5w

    Dear Brother

    Dear Brother,
    I love you with all my heart
    I could always fool around you
    We had discussions about things
    That only we two got it
    We talked about the universe and god
    We talked about everything
    So I am sorry for being disappointed
    I am sorry for being a mess
    I am sorry for being hurt
    I am sorry for being so sensible
    About this emotional shit
    I thought you would do everything for me
    I thought you would carry the world with me
    Us two against the world
    But then,
    You couldn't even be there for me
    You couldn't do anything when I told you
    About my mental health issues
    You couldn't be the help I needed
    I know you are bad with this
    I know you are bad with emotion
    And I know you have a lot of baggage to carry
    But couldn't you at least try to be there for me
    Couldn't you take the bumpy road with me
    I guess not
    You took the easy way out
    Pretended we never talked about it
    Let me struggle with it on my own
    And that's why I am hurt
    Disappointed
    Sad
    And I know I am being selfish
    I wanted you to help me
    When I couldn't do that for you
    But I have tried
    I have tried really hard
    I fought
    Fought for you
    But you shut me out
    Told me it was nothing
    Told me I shouldn't worry so much
    I offered you my help and you rejected it
    So is it selfish from me to ask you for help?
    I know you think I have a great life
    I know you think I have everything
    I know you are a little bit jealous of me
    Because you think I had it so easy
    But dear brother,
    All I needed was your support
    I would have loved to run to your room
    Crying my eyes out
    Because of an anxiety attack
    Because of my insecurities
    Because of my doubts
    But you let me know
    That I wouldn't be welcomed
    That you couldn't help me
    And that's fine
    Really
    But I just wished
    That you fought harder for me
    But that was selfish of me to think
    So dear brother,
    Sorry for being selfish
    Sorry for being a wreck
    But I can't help it
    ©ylviia