• messiah 41w


    What if the air you inhale never got out
    and your lungs fill up with air as it pushes
    against your chest, pressing hard on your ribs that what was once your source of protection, becomes the gateway to your pain.
    And your eyes bulge out in a sudden show of the horror that has forced itself on you. You open your mouth but the air does not come out, you try to exhale with your nose, with hope of a familiar treatment but even your nostrils now stand with the enemy.
    You find yourself stuffed but hungry for release, for peace, for life.
    Soon the air invades your ears and your balance room loses it's cool, you try to stay on your feet but even your eyes will not stay open long enough for you to see where your feet should stand.
    Your knees are shaky and your skin is sweaty dripping and threatening to drown you in salty water.
    Now you've got watery eyes, a mouth that will not close, ears that will not hear and legs that will not stay stood.
    You are choking on life and she is watching you die. You are afraid and so you try to call for help, but not a sound is made because you are too full of life that no one is seeing you die.
    When they see you dying, help becomes unnecessary, you know exactly how to get there, how to let all that air go, because you were never taught to breathe in the first place, but why has it become so difficult?
    Why has all you have learned failed you?
    Now you know how it feels to be seen and unseen while at sight.
    Now you know what it is to cry and never be heard, you will learn how to die in silence and no amount of emotional blackmail will bring you help. Now all your resources are left to you and your vices.
    In the long silent nights you will teach yourself to see from where reality leaves dreams.
    _Ciro Gazzidis