• cronosis 10w

    3. Give credit to the reader

    Example: Jack's left hand was kept on his left thigh as he sat on the pew while his toes were limping inside his shoes. He wore a cap. His neck had turned a bit and his eyes were looking at the duck fidgeting in the pond.

    What did Jack do wrong this time? Of course, nothing. The narration was flawed itself. Too much information kills writing. This is where you need to treat your reader as a matured person, not a bib sucking baby.

    Rewrite: Sitting on pew by the lake, Jack's narrow eyes under the cap were transfixed at the duck fidgeting in the water.