• feministconfessional 31w

    My Enemy is Strong

    My enemy is strong
    All she must do is
    Drop a thimbleful of doubt
    A wee dram of sourness
    Into my dry parched mouth
    While I let it quench my
    Soul a pitted sponge
    Soaks it up
    Perilously thirsty
    For approval
    Ever absent
    I take the poison
    In lieu of love

    I let her
    Question me
    Quote back falsehoods
    Never uttered
    Crazy mirrors in my brain
    Wavy distortions of self within
    Facile facts grunted
    Reveal almost no faith
    In my ability
    To mother
    In a way that is other
    Than what I have studied
    With Her
    Kali, Mother Kali
    Laughing killer

    Old woman
    Death snaps at your fancy heels
    Like an angry, hungry
    Territorial goose
    Death dots your nervous chatter
    While I confide
    About unexpected embryos
    Delicious hope and happiness
    Then watch you
    Drop an anvil on it
    Crush it
    The cruelty of your starkness
    Like tiny needles
    From your cactus heart
    Torturing me slowly
    With a thousand tiny pin pricks
    I feel each keenly
    One after the other
    But the terror is all yours
    You cannot allow life in me
    Through me
    Beyond you
    Even though you gave it
    You take it away
    Even though I live
    I have been dead already
    For dozens of years
    You chase death like you chase your own tail
    But I’m not following you any more

    My enemy is strong
    But I am stronger