To an Unknown City
I want to go to an unknown city where nobody knows my name.
Where in the evening I will find a bench under a leafy tree and will sit there keeping my arms on my knees...with face down to face earth.!
I will think about all the moments that have ever made me happy and will regret their slipping out of my hands.
I will think about all those loves of my life who are not part of my life anymore. I will remind talking them and laughing with them. I will try to feel their presence and their fragrance. I will smile slightly with the corner of my lips only, thinking about their pleasure presence somewhere else.
I will think about all the pure love and affection I did to them without expecting their return. I will think about all the things I did out of love and then unintentionally I will find my eyes on my hands...the empty hands.
I will think about all I ever wanted was to be loved...no matter some less love but to be loved at least. I will look at my shoes and feel my tired feet inside...I will smile suddenly finding them all alone and all tired...like my soul.
I will think about all the tragedies that should have killed me but they killed my soul instead. I will remind every inch of them and the inconvenience I endured living them. I will wonder how they got failed finishing my smile and my sense of humor. I will look up at the sky high and will take a deep breath...with closed eyes...try to light my heavy heart by exhaling all the dark coping mechanism killing me for years.
Someday, I will spare some time just to look back and count what I have lost.
Someday, in an unknown city, I will listen to me and watch me by my side...and smile!