Anger Management

I know I easily get mad
I know that I let little things get to me
I know I get irritated easily
I know you hate these characters in me.
But let me tell you i hate it more than you do
How do I tell you everyday when I wake up I tell myself that today I won't get angry
How do I tell you everyday I keep chanting today my emotions won't control me
But every single time I fail.
Do you know how frustrating it is that even when someone tells me a little thing I want to explode
Do you know how much I hate that sometimes my parents will want to say something to me but they have to stop themselves cause of my temper ?
When my anger rises it's like I become blind, I don't see, I don't hear, I don't think and it scares me alot.
What if I end up hurting my loved ones?
So my only solution is to hit things, throw things so that I avoid doing something more stupid.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I am a bad person and that's why when I calm down i sometimes sit down and ask if I really was the one that was acting like that
I know now you are feeling sorry for me
I know now you are thinking that I'm crazy
But no I am not crazy and don't pity me
Because despite everything,  the pain, tears and many other negative feelings
It made me stronger
It made me not to be scared of any kind of battle or challenge in my life because everyday when I wake up I am at war with my emotions and that is one of the hardest thing in the world.
I am alive and I am doing everything in power to win this war
I am proud of myself
I am not crazy
I am just special and unique
©brownangel99