• absynth 8w

    So much written about depression. Could have written another essay. But poems are what I do best and I am hoping that what I do best is going to save me one day at a time.

    #adarkdate #doingdepression #hanginginthere #whateverworks

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    A dark date

    Depression is my neighbor
    I see her everyday across the boundary wall
    Over time I got to know her better
    Though she seems nothing like me at all.

    She must be out of her mind, offering me a free ride
    Out of this suffocating town
    In a car called Suicide
    With no seatbelts, just a shroud.

    So one day I decided to confront her
    To talk about the status of our relationship
    Were we seperated, together or was it complicated
    Or were we just changing labels as they became outdated?

    And I say to her
    "For many you are not even real
    And those who know you can't describe you
    For you are a shapeshifter of feelings
    Only shuffling the cards and never dealing"

    And she says to me
    "I'm a stranger you cannot neglect
    I love dating games
    Where you cannot swipe left
    I love fucking your feelings hard
    Till they go numb and feel unwanted."

    And I say
    "You are still a luxury
    For all those trying to survive
    Can't get away so easily
    With taking away so many lives
    I won't fall for you
    Not because I want others to do this too
    But only because I have other things to do."

    And she scoffs
    "What are those other things that you talk about?
    Only good enough to dumb you down
    Life is not an ecstasy pill to be popped in the mouth
    The green grass finally gets mowed down.
    For I know the road better than anyone else
    Its short, straight and direct
    For those who loathe the self
    So get in the car now and lets race death."

    I fumble for a few seconds
    To come up with something in my defense
    Guess I was not prepared for such brutality
    To be hurled at my face
    And I manage to say
    "All I know is that you can't stay forever
    Without my consent
    My patience is my power
    Even though I am not a saint"

    Depression looks at me from head to toe
    She says "I'm in a hurry now and have other places to go
    More minds, souls and emotions to exploit
    More dead corpses to bury in the night
    But I will be back for you lover boy
    At the stroke of your next identity crisis
    When you have been jilted at the altar of joy
    Maybe then we can get drunk and make wild love in the backseat."

    With this, she stepped on the pedal
    And screeched away in search of another passenger
    One half of me sighed in relief
    While the other half wanted to kiss those dark lips
    Maybe she's just sad
    To have said what she said
    Or maybe she's thrilled by manipulating people's free will
    But whatever the case, a date is still a date
    She may be the weird girl next door
    But I'm willing to wait.
    ©absynth