This Is Who I Ought To Be
Everyone comes from humble beginnings; a few have it rougher than the others. We believe that’s what shapes us into who we are and what we become.
We read too much into our pasts, careful to not make the same mistakes. It’s an internal riot demanding to govern the rest of your life, etched deep into your memory, skin and blood. We believe we are growing, moving on, becoming better; but how far have we really come if we keep looking back? Does the pedestal you put yourself on not tremble at the thought of the past getting better of you? All I see in the mirror is this who I ought to be – better than yesterday but not far from a tomorrow short of today.
I am who I believe you to be I am.
I break the mirror into pieces and I alter reality to my liking. I distort the truth; rearrange little truths into a monstrous lie I want you to believe. I want you to believe this is who I am. A jigsaw puzzle that looks complete but there is no image you can make sense of. Every bit fits in fluidly well but make up an abstract nothing.
This is who I ought to be.
Little somethings of nothings; altering, breaking, reforming, stretching along to suit the situation as I please. Overridden and overwritten. For if only am I obsolete, will I survive.