• musings_of_an_oldsoul 10w

    Recently, I encountered someone who was involved with my difficult experience. After hearing that voice within five minutes I started feeling anxious, short of breath, thirsty, anger and so many mixed emotions. I couldn't concentrate on anything. It's the feeling you wouldn't like to experience. And that night I could not sleep again, felt like crying for no reason. It felt like all of it would happen again. Someone would come and snatch my hard work again and I'll be left with nothing once again. Even though this person wasn't responsible but she was involved with that experience so it triggered my anxiety, made me feel all the negative emotions. So, I decided to not let this affect me again. I decided to break the cycle and be free from this feeling by reminding myself of all the good things I am. And also, reminding that how I feel about things cannot be controlled by others. I am capable of everything, I am good enough and I will not let anybody else decide anything for me. Only I will do that. This conversation with myself not only uplifted my mood, when I heard the same voice again, this time I didn't feel like crying or running away. This time I felt more confident and self-control. With this experience, I've realized that people cannot have power over you, without you allowing them. You cannot rationalise the shitty things people do. Instead, you can be who you are and be proud of yourself. Be good with yourself too.

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    When you encounter people associated with your difficult experience, they bring back all the memories and those memories bring back those feelings. You don't have to fight back. You just have to process it fully and remind yourself that they don't have the power to define your feelings. You do.

    ©musings_of_an_oldsoul