• kenyettajohnson 6w

    It's Ok If You can't help

    It's ok If you can't help

    It's of if u cant help
    If the answer is no I about helping me with a car ok will u still file my taxes then
    I was only working a month before Corona came
    When I file my taxes it may not be much of nothing since my mom has custody of my children for the last 10 years of my life and I have tried everything to try and get on my feet because I had too much pride before to ask my mom for help sometimes I had almost felt like I didn't deserve anything from her I even questioned for a while was she even my real mom and now I just accepted her I realized all the running and trying to replace her landed me right back in the same place every time after all the traveling and searching trying to fulfill that empty feeling and I always wondered to myself if she wasn't my real mom why did she want my kids so badly since they were a part of me
    Doctors say I am bi-polor so I have alot of depression sometimes and because of the bi-polar I believe maybe that is why it has taking me so long to get a stepping stone to get back on my feet but I don't have custody of my kids so I can't receive any government assistance to make it easier for me so if it's not meant for me go get any type of stepping stone then maybe God has something else in store for me and if he does then there is a God like I was raised to believe so it has to be something planned for me since everything else I tried failed even when I was only an inch from getting back on my feet it's like oh God if you was not trying to get my attention before you sure have all of my undivided attention now for sure
    You know how messed up stuff will happen and knock you down and you be likeoh I can fix that mistake I made this time in a hurry next thing you know 20 years go by then you still ain't got back on your feet then you looking like me like damn I am so shocked how my life turned out and I still don't have a place of my own yet and I still don't have a car yet and I still ain't famous yet but I am going to keep believing in myself even if it takes me until I get 50 years old I'm still going to keep trying I have no other Choice
    And yes it's true I hate asking my family for help with anything it makes me feel like less than a person and I am somewhat too hard on myself but I guess it's because I was so sensitive and let negative emotions in the past get me down but that curse has been broken and nothing negative is apart of my life anymore
    I want mom to finally be proud of something I did not just for me but for the family like I paid off the house for family and I bought the business for my family and I wrote that book and became famous for my family and that feeling will be so awesome and that day will be so awesome to say I finally completed a task that didn't just benefited me but also my family had a success story to be apart of with me I mean when I rise they rise and instead of me always needing them to provide for me for once in my life I want to be able to provide them with their needs
    ©kenyettajohnson