Happy or sad ?
Someone once gave me an applaud. I still remember, it's crowded all over and I'm the stage anchor. With so much of enthusiasm, I scripted my work and landed on the dais; being a perk. Everything felt well until I understood that I'm to be doomed by my co-anchor. For seconds, I was blank. Started sweating... for that dumb prank!
The chief guest's there and my voice terribly shook. The upcoming performances are yet to be approved. To my luck, the power supply runned out. Not to let me down, I raised my head gathering all the confidence by handing over the mike to the DJ boy aside and started speaking. Everything that got ruined, got reunited. But I couldn't still forget, the tense in my head and the heaviness in my heart that pulled me down that day.
Too many sentences were skipping in my mind as I felt, it would soon collapse. Because with no proof, I know that it is me who is to be blamed later. Trying to put away all the clutter, I somehow managed to get it altogether.
When the program was utmost at the end, the singing choir was scattered so then again... I had to sing the national anthem in a oath of pride to the nation. Well, the power supply continued so I dragged along the mike.
Hopelessly, I felt it as a disappointment when I centered myself as the reason. Just then, came the chief guest. He patted on my shoulder and said, "well done, girl !" and gave me the rose he was given as a token of appreciation. I was so happy that I couldn't stop the river flowing through the corners of my eyes. He smiled and again said, "You handled it really very well and your voice was sweet to hear." He shook hands and went away. Simultaneously, I had a wider smile that decorated my face.
Some people said, they're happy tears. But I was rather sad. Deep inside, I knew that I could do it better. But I didn't. The butter though, tasted bitter. They are tears. Yes, they are! I was happy. Yes, I was! It was a conflict between happiness and sadness that the smile and tears had to have a war on my face.
So I'd rather say that it's happiness inspite of tears and not tears inspite of happiness.