• kbrost2229 5w

    Torn

    I'm torn..
    Dont know what to do...
    Just cant stop thinking about you...
    What would you do ..if you were in my shoes?
    An opportunity being handed right to you..
    3.5 years I gave of my life...
    In hopes that one day you'd make me your wife...
    Each day turned into night..
    I would pray to God to make you right..
    The night I looked into your eyes ..
    was the moment I met the man of my life..
    Many years came and gone...
    Before I knew it you came back along...
    Reunited with the man I fell in love with many years ago...
    Just to give you a few years, for you to just let me go...

    We have been through hell together and I never turned my back..
    No matter how many times the devil put us under attack..
    I never thought the day I took you to detox was going to be the end...
    I thought forsure.. it was the beginning all over again...
    I have stayed faithful to my God and my beliefs
    In a sense I've stayed faithful to you and me...
    I'm torn...
    Torn between my heart and my mind..
    Torn between what was and what could be mine
    Torn between everything I've ever wanted ..and everything I was never given..
    Problem is will I be able to let you go?
    Can I really pack up and leave everything I know?
    I know you're probably wondering why I'm writing you this...
    Truth is you were really my only best friend ..
    I have turned to God nonstop these last couple weeks... too the point of falling to my knees...
    Sermon after Sermon plays on YouTube..
    Kids are starting to think im crazy the same as you do..
    No ,I'm not drinking nor have I given myself to anyone.. only to God because He's my number 1..
    This letter or poem or whatever you wanna call it...
    Is me looking for answers that God hasn't given..
    Or has He? Is the silence I get from you my very first clue?
    Keri, move on with your life... move away and become  another man's wife...
    I'm so callis to words because the devils speaks so much crap..
    It's actions I look for because that seems to be where its at...
    I met someone that swears hes in love with me...
    Those are 3 words that I can't seem to repeat ...
    Has God guided me to another man? Is this what He has planned ?
    If so then why do I feel as if im not being faithful or trustworthy?  Am I just not really ready?
    My heart was rebuilt by God... He has built me tougher than before...
    Not giving any man the time of day, but this guy wouldn't take no and just go away...
    He swears he knows we were meant to be... why is it I dont see?
    I ask myself what Tony would do... problem i have is I already knew...
    I knew  before writing this for the silence I hear screams you're on another mission..
    Acceptance of reality is debilitating at times..
    Wondering what God's plan has me losing my mind...
    I'm hurt, callis, broken, rebuilt, strong,  sad, happy, excited and scared..
    I've turned to God and its gotten me no where..
    My faith is strong and He's my center...
    Problem im having is letting anyone else in there..
    After our relationship I said I was gonna live out my life by myself...
    Wasn't gonna set myself up again just to be let down..
    Maybe I'm saying goodbye... maybe I'm looking for you to fight... maybe I'm just scared of this guy... maybe just maybe its too good to be true.. maybe I dont wanna continue life without you...?????
    ©kbrost2229