• arya_ballal 6w

    Looking in the mirror,
    I was afraid of myself,
    What promises I made and what I broke,
    I can't keep a record, so many secrets,
    I trusted myself to the extents I cannot imagine,
    I knew I was going to fall someday and hit hard,
    I couldn't sense the pain when it all happened,
    Now I don't have enough time to restart,
    The look in the mirror,
    When mirror shattered hard,
    It was for my better,
    But why did I lose everything that I earned from the start?
    Today,
    I am lost,
    I am afraid to start again,
    Afraid to trust myself again,
    Believe in myself again,
    They told me to love myself,
    But I am afraid I will let myself down again,
    Nothing is worse than broken love,
    I cannot promise myself or keep secrets anymore,
    I just keep ignoring reality as reality is pain,
    I cannot let myself go in vain,
    Again,
    Looking in the mirror,
    I don't have a reason to love myself,
    I will still wait for the reason,
    Because I don't want to kill myself,
    Its hard when all youv'e done so far,
    Just disappears like a mirage,
    What is reality what is dream,
    Your tears, on your cheeks, camouflage,
    Its okay,
    I still got rid of what will kill me someday,
    I know I'm nothing now,
    But I will wait for the day,
    when I will start loving myself again,
    Trusting and believing again.

    Its hard to love yourself without any reason,
    Its harder to keep promises with yourself without any condition.

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    This is not a poem, nor just a set of words,
    Its not that meaningful, yet writing it is a must,
    Maybe you may not understand what I mean,
    Because its just the feeling of eyes soaked with dust.

    ©arya_ballal