let me dye my hair in red and get myself covered in tattoos and maybe, if it isn't enough, let me pierce my body afterwards, in the places where it has stopped to hurt, and completely transform into a new person. why? you ask. because I'm numb. i don't feel much. my heart has stopped aching and my body has stopped breathing. and it all started when i stopped abruptly giving love to me. so, if i change my facade there is a slight chance that my vitals will get inspired and pump back into the life i always desired. sure, my appearance will be deceptive but my emotion will come back to me and I'll be happy within. and i think, that's all i need to start feeling something.