A eulogy to myself !!
I don't know if your loss will create a void in their lives
But You've been an ephemeral person .
Don't think you're gonna hear good things about you
when you're no more !
Instead highlighting the regrets and things
which you could never say to people around,
will be great !!
You lived a life which was puissant !
You transferred pulchritude to the ones around !
You were the one who laughed even in the terrible times!
You became everyone's therepist !
The thing is ..
Who was there for you when you were breaking apart ?
Who was there to hold you when you were falling ?
Who was there when you were going through the worst phases of your life ?
Who was there to have a cup of coffee with you in the balcony ?
Who was there to give you a shoulder ?
Who was there , Whom you could call your OWN?
Was there anyone, or you just spent your life ignoring yourself and seeing others blithe .
What will happen to the promise you made to your grandma about teaching her how to use smartphone .
What will happen to the smile which your niece held when you came back home each day.
What will happen to your urge to confess and say sorry to you mother...for the endless arguments you did .. for the way you got her wrong each time...for disobeying her..for keeping her down...for making her believe her daughter is a loser...for hating her ?
What will happen to your father whose chest absorbed all your tears when you couldn't win the drawing competition ..
Who made you believe you're a princess..
Who taught you to keep your head high..
Who loved you like nothing else ..
What will happen to your sister who came to you with her maths problem..
Who pleated your hair each day ..
Who fought for the packet of chips ,who
lend you her clothes ...And who came to wipe your tears when you were crying ..
What will happen to your best friend who Dreamt of having duo trips with you around the world...
Who wished to sing prothalamium on your wedding ..
What will happen to your soul ?
Which you left bleeding all the time it was in you !!
What will happen to your heart which you always got back in a million pieces !!
What will happen to the depth of your eyes ..which made everyone wonder whether you are broken or lonely !!
What will happen to your left pieces of breath !!
You will waste them too !!! Ain't it !
You always requested everyone to come in your furenal , not with roses or daisies..But with tulips , 'cause you were Always fond of them . And you knew , dead people receive more flowers than living ones..for regret is stronger than gratitude !!
The one you loved , is now happy with someone else .. Enjoying all the pleasures of life .. It's what you've always wanted..Right?
Him to be happy !!
You can't convert yourself to a better version now..For you don't have any time left to update yourself ..
You can't get drunk again..For you don't have to depend on alcohol anymore .
You can't get drenched in pain again , for you are already on the peak of trauma .
You are no more alive ! You're gone ..! You yourself let you go ! You couldn't hold yourself and deal with the cliché !!
You were trying to be a good person , hoping to see everyone around you smile . You were both pathetic and admirable simultaneously !
Your feelings were asunder and atrabilious..
and you wished to see everything around effulgent..!!
But .. Everything is gone now !! You couldn't hold yourself tight and you let it go ..As you always let go all the fears on the shoulders of the rings of hair you dropped in air .
You couldn't help yourself !!
Your face is turning pale , the grey melancholy sky is soaking all the life left in you !! You can do nothing except smelling the rose on the other side of the glass wall which has wilted !!
Ere your body is fulminating ..Go tell you mother ..You are a loser !
Sorry Mom , Your daughter is a loser !