• iinked_mistake 4w

    Girl

    Pick the checkers up off the floor
    They’ll turn to stone one day
    Why does she always have to scold
    Why is this fucking world so cold
    All I want is love I scream
    Why can’t I fuck you with any other finger than the middle one
    What the fuck is wrong with me
    Kiss me I say quietly
    But when your gentle lips touch mine
    I try to bite them off
    Just let me sleep in my dirty clothes
    Don’t keep trying to change me
    My reflection blinks slowly as I stare with open eyes
    The dead will always walk out of the tunnels in droves
    My head always just screams leave us alone
    Maybe this life just isn’t for me
    I’d like to get off at the next stop please
    She whispers into my tangled hair
    Why do I hate you so much
    When I love you so desperately
    Why does my chin quiver with tears whenever I laugh
    The faucet is running and I can’t shut off the shower
    It’s overflowing now
    The drain is full of blood and regrets
    She’s full of crimson rages
    The bed is empty again tonight
    The sheets are still draped over the blanket fort we made seventeen years ago
    I’m sorry I whisper to the stars
    I think they forgive me
    I think the stars will forgive me
    She’s sleepless in every city, not just Chicago
    She replaces dreams with wondering when exactly they all died
    Cross your legs and keep your nails clipped
    She always nagged
    Comb your gorgeous long hair so all the boys can see you she screams from the hazy bathroom
    How dare you reciprocate their advances she screamed as she beat me later that night
    I started coloring my nails with permanent marker
    I started cutting my hair shorter and shorter
    An inch every time she hit me
    Until I was bald
    I started learning how to use eyeliner
    Church girl got lost
    I’m mourning all the bridges I’m about to burn
    I’m getting knocked in my head the lessons I’m supposed to learn
    She’s pretty
    She’s grace
    She’s forgotten to wash her face
    She’s fragile
    She doesn’t know how she got to this place
    She doesn’t know how to get back home
    She’s walking the streets at night alone
    She walks up and down until she fades completely
    She shaved her head again last night
    Slowly
    Sitting on the bathroom floor
    Staring at her pretty face in the mirror propped against the bathtub
    For once she’s happy
    For once there is no screaming
    There’s sunshine in her shadow
    There’s so many stars on her bedroom ceiling
    She is glowing

    Glowing