• tanyarasul 22w

    You'll never know about how much of pain you have gifted me. You'll never know about how much i loved you.
    There is so much unsaid, unspoken.. Things i always wanted tell you.. Emotions i had to express.. Plans i made for your birthday a year ago.. And a lot of stuff that are still unknown and untold to you.
    Days.. I have cried alone being with you so not to bother you. Days i felt alone and depressed though smiled at my best to see you smile to your fullest.
    I had never done so much for me.. I really had pushed my self a way long just to make you happy. Make you smile.. Make you feel good. Trust me that smile of yours was all i was living for then. I had trusted you so blindly that you always succeeded making up stories and make me believe them.
    I'll never let you know anymore about how much you still matter to me. I wont tell you anymore about how much i'm still suffering. I wont say a word anymore. Enough i had spoken. Enough i had begged on you to stay back.
    Yeah it kills me inside see you happie with someone thats not me. It drenches my heart seeing you happy and not being a part of it anymore. I don't know if all you did was for my betterment as you said or was just a mere action of selfishness. I don't see you care for me anymore.. If you had ever cared you would not have left me dieing alone. My heart is chocked of all these emotions now. My soul bursts in rage of your betrayal. But then at the end i do realise that i loved you with all of my heart and i still do so.
    You have succeeded hurting me to an extent.. From where i dont find myself trusting anyone.. I find myself pretending that i dont feel anything.. I am numb.. I am cold detached.
    You killed that smile of me or should i say you took mines and placed it over your yours. I am happy seeing you getting loved but trust me it kills every inch of me inside.
    Yeah.. I wont let you know that now.
    I wish you were blessed enough to watch though my eyes and realise what you made me feel.

    - ©tanyarasul

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    So much is left to be told.. So much left to be felt..
    So much is left in this heart..
    Its chocking me.. Its killing me inside.

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