My Mental Health
I woke up this morning to my phone's notification sound, the first thing I do is check my phone, it has become my routine. I want to see the latest captions, who has the latest Ride, the newest kicks, the dope gadgets. I see these things and I feel my shoulders drop, I feel my heart squeezing, My morning is ruined. I look at the mirror, my nose is a little too big, my face too puffy, my stomach is too big, I'm nothing compared to those beautiful faces I see, those beautiful smiles. My whole being is a mistake. If I could just have a taste of their life. And I loose my sanity, my thinking faculty is blurred. I refuse to see the pain behind these smiles, the anger they feel, the urge to want to be better versions of themselves, the constant battle they fight. I can't concentrate, I can't stop thinking about that new Aston Martin, those sick Fenty shoes, I want them all, My brain is under duress, I ignore the voice saying sometimes it's just a façade, you're over thinking, we're different people, it's not what you think it is. And I put my mental health at risk. I forget that I need to take care of me.