• andigrace 26w

    Windows in my bed
    I see them nightly
    Down the halls in my head
    As I lay unguarded from the dark that surrounds me
    Ashed from the inside with memories
    Partials of slain moments of time
    Streaks of crystalline tears that don't shine anymore
    Once all hope was gone
    It's harder to see through them now
    Old tears won't wash away the haze
    Even the rare moments of good
    Seem detached from me
    Maybe stepping back, them and I
    Weighing each other
    But they're mine, are they not
    Shifting from felt emotions
    To emotionless memories
    All that I've known, for so long now
    Time stands still there
    I am alone
    I try to piece the moments together
    The ones that led to this
    I don't know how I got here
    And I want... I wish...
    No, I won't do that to myself
    Even if I relived it a hundred times...
    I know
    It would still be this, in this time
    Laying my hands upon the pane
    Reliving it all, feeling for her pain
    I want to pull that part of her from you, from where you reside
    To protect her, I suppose
    That part that's confined for reuse
    It's hard to walk away from that part of me
    As our eyes met
    A nearly unnoticeable nod
    She means to release me
    It's hard to walk away
    Leaving a pieces of myself behind
    She stands huddled and beaten
    Holding his brokenness to hers
    A stance of protection over him
    I've yet to understand her vigilance
    She releases me...me
    I caused this
    I cannot walk away completely
    Maybe when all the dust finally settles on the windows
    Completely covered and lost to my minds eye
    The past will be hidden from me for good
    Until then, I'll die a little each time you return
    ©andigrace
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    Windows in my bed, I see them nightly
    Down the halls in my head
    Time stands still there, I am alone
    I try to piece the moments together
    The ones that led to this
    Laying my hands upon the pane
    Reliving it all, feeling for her pain
    She stands huddled and beaten
    Holding his brokenness to hers
    A stance of protection over him
    Maybe when all the dust finally settles on the windows
    Completely covered, lost to my minds eye hidden from me for good
    Until then, I'll die a little each time you return ©andigrace