• sanjay_writes 24w


    There is fever in my bones !
    an endless winter in my soul !
    My truth leaves burn marks on my chest and stains everything it touches !
    There is a storm in my heart !
    sometimes it's an unbearable quiet !
    sometimes it's just music !
    a record in loop inside me that breaks me over and over again !
    I've lost more than I care to remember and I've been hurt more than I dare to forget !
    Loss is a lot like shedding skin !
    except you feel every peel !
    and you die a little more each day !
    It's unbelievably easy to not be yourself !
    You start out by living a lot of lives !
    by living a lot of lies !
    By numbing out every nerve with everything !
    and anything that makes you not feel what you feel...even if it's just for one night !
    But your heart never stops singing !
    and your song is beautiful even if no one hears it !
    The thing about being not you is that the you you fades slowly !
    till no one sees you disappear !
    There are nights when I've drowned in my own tears !
    and mornings where I've come up for air in words !
    There are days when I wake up to the moon and close my eyes at sunrise !
    I want to live again !
    to feel alive again !
    I try to remember to live by forgetting all the places where I died !
    There is fever in my bones !
    an endless winter in my soul !
    I want to live my life dancing to the rhythm of my heart !
    even with broken bones !
    even in snow !
    and die completely out of breath !

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