There is fever in my bones ! an endless winter in my soul ! My truth leaves burn marks on my chest and stains everything it touches ! There is a storm in my heart ! sometimes it's an unbearable quiet ! sometimes it's just music ! a record in loop inside me that breaks me over and over again ! I've lost more than I care to remember and I've been hurt more than I dare to forget ! Loss is a lot like shedding skin ! except you feel every peel ! and you die a little more each day ! It's unbelievably easy to not be yourself ! You start out by living a lot of lives ! by living a lot of lies ! By numbing out every nerve with everything ! and anything that makes you not feel what you feel...even if it's just for one night ! But your heart never stops singing ! and your song is beautiful even if no one hears it ! The thing about being not you is that the you you fades slowly ! till no one sees you disappear ! There are nights when I've drowned in my own tears ! and mornings where I've come up for air in words ! There are days when I wake up to the moon and close my eyes at sunrise ! I want to live again ! to feel alive again ! I try to remember to live by forgetting all the places where I died ! There is fever in my bones ! an endless winter in my soul ! I want to live my life dancing to the rhythm of my heart ! even with broken bones ! even in snow ! and die completely out of breath !