Eulogy to Sangfroid soul
Today we've assembled here not to mourn the sudden death of a mysterious soul, or lovingly known as sangfroid soul but to felicitate the ephemeral life she spent cherishing each moment she was given. I was fortunate to be there when she breathed her first and her last, to be in her highs and lows. She wasn't mysterious because she was secretive rather her blatant brutal honesty blew away the minds of people she'd met, she was equally approachable and unapproachable. She was equally kind and rude. Mainly, she reciprocated vibes. I'd been glad to be there reading what went behind the walls that she made around herself behind the facade of the smile she used to shower.
From the past few days her health started deteriorating for it was slowly becoming something she couldn't control.
She never meant to do deliberate harm to people. Perhaps it was the empathy that ate her inside. She knew pain couldn't be compared. But it could be amplified or simmered down depending on certain factors. We have to lose something in order to appreciate the things we have. There were days when she battled against her mind and demons and then there were nights when her lips chapped with biting nails and gushing tears, she spent alone waiting me to come there and take her in my arms. I could offer her no solace. I could just witness everything like a mute spectator. The next day, dark circles welcomed her and her bleak smiles started waning into straight lines. She was on the cusp of depression and borderline personality disorder. There were nights she spent staring at the ceiling above her head asking questions she didn't have answer to, and neither do I too.
Perhaps she was incapable of loving mortals, that's why she chose to love skies and sunsets, for they were easier to love and were devoid of expectations or the need of something in return. She loved rains. She used to be the happiest person that time
Sangfroid was one of my closest friends who I failed to help and eventually became a part of me and she, grew apart from me. Today I've not only lost a good friend but a part of me forever that was beating inside her heart and a part of me that's devoid of her bright presence.
Sangfroid was fortunate to be loved deeply by few people who meant so much to her and she was lucky to die in the lap of her lover. Lucky to listen to his soothing voice singing a melancholic song strummed by his guitar strings replaced with the strings of her heart. She was smiling so wide and looking so breathtakingly beautiful with tears at the corner of her slight crow feet. Sangfroid hated her face and voice but I wished someone to tell how divine and celestial she looked. Maybe she expected me to come and tell her.
She stitched a wildflower as a brooch.
And wrote a poem haphazardly in the air as in her world there were more words than people.
'he gazes at me
like i'm a bird, free
of fetters that bind
moments that rewind
after every twinkle of the brightest stars
in the sky
so he lets me fly
as I can'
Looking up at the sky, for one last time, I wanted to be there to congratulate the couple because they were there when they needed each other. Inhaling a goodbye thought she exhaled few words.
She knew she wasn't a good writer but she hoped someone looked upto her at some point of time. There were many a days when it was easier to let go than hold onto.
And there with that thought intermixed with the sweet taste of his kiss on her lips she breathed her last asking the omnipresent energy to forgive her for every wrong she had done.
Sangfroid wasn't mortal or a person. She is a never ending idea and a thought that overlapped with an image of a butterfly. Simply speaking, sangfroid wasn't a person, she was a vibe.