And I was changing though I didn't like the change that was taking place inside me. I was not the one I used to be or I used to love to be. I was not a mess (I like to be) anymore still I was a mess (that I never like to be). I knew maturity should come over but not like this. This wasn't the feeling of maturity at all. This had to be something else. I didn't want to do the things I love. I didn't want to write, I didn't want to joke around people, I was furious and not sarcastic. Anger issues were growing. And I was so helpless that I couldn't stop this change. It was like some unknown forces were holding me back.