• voices_within 5w

    LOWERED ME 6 FEET UNDER!

    What is it going to have to be for you to understand that I have been left out here to survive on my own as you sent me away to a boarding school at the age of 13 when I was still in shock my first dad died, family feuding blaming you for this pain and as you were focusing on your new life it's no wonder why you sent me to a school in Mexico. We're I couldn't even call home until I was at a higher level. And we didn't see each other until I was already there for about 16 months never knew that you came to visit me cause I was called out of class and you could only see me from a third story window and then after driving for 15 hours this is all you needed after losing a husband was that 5 minutes and then your car ride home from the past focused on your life with my stepdad Tom. It's no wonder why you where never there for me and we couldn't even get along and how quickly you were too leave me alone. Sad thing though is just because you don't know me and my brother has a bunch of kids something I can't have due to my war injuries you still make excuses for why you don't come around so sad to cause now my stepdad has lost his life and my life is getting shorter by the day as I have already had two brain tumors removed and I am still going to the cancer center and they still don't know what is wrong with me but maybe it's because of everyone who has left me to survive life alone thinking I would do okay with everything that has happened or maybe because I wasn't supposed to be your number one son so this is why I wasn't invited to my stepdads funeral service and maybe it's because of everything I have seen and once knew this is why I am left lowered into the ground and I have so many health issues now cause maybe I am fighting for a life to get better but dying from a broken heart for never being recognized for what I have done as your son sad thing is that I did nothing wrong but you don't even care about me as long as you and I don't speak. You can say I have the problem I'm the one who is messed up in the head and I am the one who has decided to choose to be away from you. But tell the truth I am away from you cause you have only ever keep me in harm's way telling everyone about my health and my military experience and telling people I am a monster but I ain't I promise you but it's okay though cause we're would I be if it weren't for you spreading gossip and lies oh yeah that's right I would be in way better health able to live a longer life no more having to go to the cancer center cause you would have told me exactly what was to come my way and we'll it would have been nice to hear that I had a fighting chance to survive but sad thing when a mom doesn't even tell her son anything at all so why mom why would a registered chemotherapy nurse choose to walk away from the one who was raised by two dad's who now RIP. Maybe cause I am everything your afraid of the one who knows the truth about what you tell people so before it's too late maybe you should question your actions and words of wisdom you think you have and make your mind up and focus on us both and become my mom once again but if you can't then don't look for me especially if I am getting lowered in the ground cause I truly don't want to see you leave me there all alone were I've always been wanting to be free from the solitude and pain....
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