I'm not talking about the times when things felt okay
Or when we cuddled and you smiled sheepishly when I stared at you.
No. I won't talk about the times I kissed you goodnight or morning.
Or those foreheaded kisses that made you smile with your eyes closed and shoulders meeting your cheek.
I wonder what you were really thinking about when I did that.
I'm never going to talk about trying to prove my love for a woman again, it's never worth it
Because, just like you, they'll doubt every word that beats against my lips. Like you, they'll curse me.
Like you, they'll jump into conclusions and turn my good words against me, throwing my good intentions into the bin like it bore a stench.
I pray not to remember what we had
I don't want to remember being special to you, because hurtful things happen to people that are special to you and when I remember you, it'll feel like a scar that will never disappear.