• tabz35 6w

    I open my eyes and shut them again
    I dont want to get up
    Don't want to face the day
    I turn over and fall back to sleep
    Lost in a dream of what my life could be
    Hours pass, it's quarter past two
    My body aches, my head splits into
    A pain so intense it reminds me of you
    How my heart tore apart
    On that fatal day
    When you turned your back
    And just walked away
    A pain so intense
    Nothing can soothe
    My life changed forever
    In one fowl swoop

    I slowly awake, and walk around my room
    Push open the curtains
    Light replaces the gloom
    Nothing really matters
    I find it hard to fight the feeling
    My life is such a waste
    It has no purpose, no meaning
    I head down the stairs
    I can feel my stomach growl
    I haven't eaten for hours
    So I'm now on the prowl
    For something to fill
    The big hole I have inside
    But the hole is too big
    Nothing is big enough in size

    I sit all alone
    Can't escape my own mind
    Look out of the window
    Look up at the sky
    What is the point
    Why am I here
    Why won't you help me
    My face floods with tears
    I cant do this anymore
    The pain builds inside
    I don't want to be here anymore
    I know I must find
    A way to get out
    A way to escape
    It's not a thought
    It's now real, it's now my fate

    I search the cupboards
    And in my distress
    I find some pills to take
    that will make the pain less
    A bottle of wine I bought just last week
    I grab it now and take it with me
    Back to my room I sit on the floor
    My back resting against the old wooden door
    I cry out that I don't want to die
    But my whole body tells me that this is a lie
    I swig from the bottle in between my cries
    It's the only option now
    I can no longer try

    I take my first pill,
    Then consume them faster and faster
    The thought of my death
    Becoming my only guiding master
    I fall onto the bed
    Sobbing turns to terror
    Gut wrenching dread
    Reality mirrors horror
    How can it have come to this
    I don't understand
    When did life go a miss
    Why have I been dealt this terrible hand
    ©tabz35