"Picture me at my sickest, spoiling inside, pieces of me falling away like old meat; brain matter pushing from behind my nose and into my mouth; when I feel hands inside me and all over cracked skin, maggots ferociously burrowing in; hopelessly dissociated, up in the parts of space that scare me; I am a zombie queen, a psychonaut levitating through grief- and I am always still just as present as you.
You still see me, talk to me- I study your face like I am listening, I respond to your queries like I am not going ballistic inwardly.
I can dress myself up, force a sparkle into my eyes while daydreaming of homicides and making myself into a regal burning martyr right in front of you, and you would never notice. I flash suicidal smiles whenever you ask me to, I talk to you of life while meditating on the dead, I talk to you of beauty while peeling away at my face, and you always say my mask is beautiful.
People think they know me so well by my body. Does my lack of a smile set you off? You don't want to see what's underneath- why aren't you unnerved more when my sickness isn't so easy to spot? That's the moment when you would grasp- if you were smarter- that it is rising up the highest, and it will quietly come crashing down to mercilessly devour every one of us.
Tell me what you think you know, instead of hiding from me behind it all.
phoenix_lunaSome months back.... Someone called me a dangerous person because I do not show how I feel...
And I wondered if it's a crime to put on a smiling face despite the brewing storm underneath...
Sometimes I talk it out, sometimes I write it out, sometimes I keep it in.... I don't owe anyone any explanation...
We'll all be fine sis... You,me, and other people like us... Think if it as life's way of shaping us into someone better and unpredictable
We'll make it through the storm
in_fragments@phoenix_luna Yes, we will make it through It is not dangerous to hide feelings sometimes if you are still getting them out somewhere, like talking or writing. It only becomes dangerous when you keep it bottled in ❤