• niragyabhardwaj 6w

    Skewed

    Freak, Zelaot or a maniac in chains?
    Funny you think you know my pain!
    Sometimes dark, sometimes a mix of hues
    Who said I can't be the monochromatic blue!

    Ever since I was little,I've been non committal
    Mixed with a tint of atheism
    I'm the Hindu, I am the Christian
    With nobody resisting my conviction.
    But when it came to "La Ilaha Illalah"
    Amusing was the spark of apprehension!

    Especially tough are those days
    When I feel unsafe under my brother's gaze
    Was it the day I saw him jeezed watching porn?
    Or the day when a man flashed his unsolicited horn?
    Like a leech latched on to my body,
    The paranoia is hard to shake off.

    From being vindictive to the hopeless lover
    From a maniac to the thoughtless helper
    I have it all
    Just like the buzz from nicotine
    One day I am super chatty
    Looking my best.
    The next day
    I start seeing the worst in my face

    Sometimes an open book,
    Revealing myself to the most random stranger
    But barely smiling at my long known well wishers
    Friends become strangers & strangers my friends
    This distortion brings me to a dead end.
    Even with this broken mind
    I cling on to the thinnest string of hope
    And the next day I'm up looking for the new dope.

    Once in a while
    I suffer from something like OCD
    Cleaning myself with unbelievable frequency
    The other days I am more of a poophoric
    Living amidst a lot of filth

    Trying to give you the essence of my life
    So you would be a little gentler next time
    Alas! The apple falls not very far from the tree
    And just like how I feel,
    Messed up is what I write.
    But the ebb and flow goes on
    Leaving me skewed and torn
    ©niragyabhardwaj