Everytime I think that now I'll be fine or things are getting better for me, something worst happens or I feel worst. Everytime I put a new pillow cover, I decide to keep it clean without dropping a single teardrop. I try to believe that it's a new day with more strength. But my pillow cover is always stained with my teardrops. No matter how much I change. Somehow, I become weak. I want to shout out loud that I'm not okay and I'm trying really hard. I want to tell people that trying needs effort which makes me tired. But I'm still trying. Sometimes trying is struggling. I have no idea when things will be alright. I just have one question on my mind and that is do I really deserve this?