• lone_soul_ 11w

    They say

    They say you don't understand, your life is perfect.
    But they don't understand.
    On the outside I live in a fairy tale world
    where my parents live together
    and my father has a job and I am a straight a student.
    I have a house and food
    and I have siblings and people all around me.
    They say I don't have a reason to be sad
    but what they don't understand is the mirror is my worst enemy
    and I hate myself.
    I hate myself so much and no one really knows me.
    I have see the blade at 2 AM and
    I have cried so hard I wanted to throw up.
    I have ripped open my leg just so I have some type of feeling.
    I have trust issues and apparently I should be in a mental institute.
    I scream at myself and beg for death to over take me.
    They say I don't understand but I do.
    I understand how it is to fake laughs and smiles all day,
    to be exhausted and wanting sleep so the bad feelings go away
    but not being able to.
    I understand the fear of your shorts slipping and someone might see
    and I know the feeling of loneliness
    and I know of begging God to help you
    but no one comes.
    I understand how hard this life really is even if I don't show it...