For the next couple of days, I didn't see her. I was anxious to talk to her. I felt like sharing my pain again which I stopped months back. I didn't know why I had those reactions going on within me but it was good. It was good because I started to think how to deal with a problem. I started to talk to my parents again after so many months. My eyes were impatiently searching her everyday in station. Slowly, I lost my focus on doing my work as my head was occupied by those questions till then. Everyday, I would reach the station and look for her.
It was a rainy day. Somehow, I managed to reach the station. I checked the display panel and the train was running on time. I sat down on a bench and waited for the train. The train halted at the station. I was about to climb into the train when suddenly a woman pushed me and quickly climbed up and went inside. I couldn't see her in a hurry as it was crowded and somehow, I boarded the train. I checked for empty seats but all the seats were full. While looking for the seats, from the corner of my eye, I noticed that same lady. Still I went ahead to look for seats. Suddenly, she saw and called me.
"Hey, Ramyy! Come here. I have some space. Sit here."
"Oh! Hi.(Acting to be surprised) Thanks."
"Beautiful day, na?"
"Uuhhh!! I don't like rainy day."
"But why?" Asking this, she gazed at me with her big round eyes.
How could I say her, I feel those moments happening again and again when I recall them. Those instances were such close to me that I usually sense them happening live infront of me.
I lost myself into the past. That day, it was raining. Janhvi had called me eleven times. We had to go to a friend's marriage. I promised her to be on time. But, I was late as always. I was silly then. Quickly, I picked her and we were on our way to friend's place. It had been two and half years for our relationship. We both were very happy. We were like soulmates. Instead of focusing on love stuffs, we used to discuss each and everything in our life just like two close friends. She was my lucky charm.
"Ramyy, what have you thought about the future?" She asked.
"Nothing." I said and laughed loudly.
Slapping hard on my hand, she told,"Tumse kuch nahi ho payega, sab kaam mujhe hi karna padega."(You can't do a thing, only I've to do all the things.)
"Arey! Have patience. Take time. Why are you in a hurry?"
"Sir ji. I'm eagerly waiting for that day when we'll tie the knot. I want to be yours completely." She blinked acting to be cute.
"Aawww... Don't act smart, ok. I know all these acting. It won't work."
"You always take things very lightly. I don't wanna talk to you."
I liked her angry face. I always knowingly tease her for fun.
"Ok baba, sorry. I was just kidding. I didn't mean it." I said.
"I don't like these jokes of yours. When will you be serious, haan? I think after my death."
"Hey, don't say like that. I didn't mean it, madam ji. And I'm extremely sorry for that."
She told to stop the car immediately. Anger was at the peak. I tried my level best to console her but all were in vain. After a while, it started raining. Rainy season was her favourite. I ran towards the car but Janhvi was so into the rain that she forgot everything and started dancing in the middle of the road. What to say about that moment when I saw her so happily dancing in the rain. I was completely lost into her. I quickly pulled out my phone and took some pictures.
Unaware of the fact that it was a major highway, she was on the middle of the road. I was standing on the other side of my car when I heard loud noise of breaks. As I turned to look for Janhvi, she was down on the roads. My mind got blank seeing her in that condition. I just ran towards her. I ran like a mad. I couldn't control myself. Tears ran down my face. She was lying senseless. She wasn't answering. Why? Why? I was completely shattered. My hands were literally trembling when I touched her. But why was she not answering me? I called for ambulance without any delay.
Doctors checked her condition and told me that operation is required. I nodded my head in dismay. My head was down. I couldn't see myself in the mirror. It was so painful. I couldn't bear that pain.
After 6 hours of operation, doctor went out in disappointment and said,"Sorry, Mr. Naik. We couldn't save her. She was brought here a bit late and till that time she lost a lot of blood. She had suffered from severe head and backbone injury."
When the doctor was going towards his chamber, I listened him saying,"Take the body out to that room."
I could just hear "couldn't save". Those were two words but put immense pressure on me which I couldn't bear. She wasn't my Janhvi anymore. She was now a body. A body!!! But why? How? I didn't have answers. I still valued her. I fell down on the floor. I didn't have energy to control myself. I cried. I cried like a lunatic. Still, it wasn't enough as my Janhvi wouldn't be back. She wouldn't scold anymore. She wouldn't pat me on my shoulders. She wouldn't force me do those weird expression. She wouldn't hug me. But, she left me. She left Ramyy, that Ramyy with whom she wanted to explore the world, with whom she could be free and a cheerful girl and the boy who was the world for her. So to say, Ramyy was everything for her. These many months I was calling to a dead phone number in a hope that one day she would pick-up. Everytime, I got disappointment.
"Ramyy! Are you ok?", Akriti said.
In a hurry, I replied,"Yes, yes. I'm fine. I was just thinking." I couldn't change my facial expressions. Something closer to heart can't be hidden for so long. She quickly noticed it.
"Ramyy. I've told you to share things. Trust me, it will reduce your pain. There's nothing to worry. I'm not a girl who can't keep things to herself. I'm sure you are hiding something. Just tell me." She requested me to open up.
"You can't understand my pain. Then why should I tell you? Please don't take it in a wrong way but I prefer some of the stuffs should remain as it is."
I was angry. I didn't realize that people were sitting beside us. I felt bad for what I did.
"Sorry, Akriti. I just said those unintentionally. I didn't want to be harsh. I'm really very sorry."
She was actually shocked to see sudden change in my reaction.
"It's ok." She said.
"I shouldn't have talked to you like that. Please forgive me", I said with a low voice.
"You're right nobody can understand other's pain till they feel themselves in that very situation. Nobody can console you till you control yourself. Nobody can take away your pain and grief unless you try to." Saying this, drops of tear flashed from her eyes. She wiped them quickly.
The train had reached Chennai Central. Again, we had to go our own way. We shoke hands and were on our way. While walking away, I turned to see her. She was still on her tears and constantly wiping it and then she vanished within the crowd. As I walked, I felt terrible to say those words. I wished I could reverse the time but I couldn't. ..........................................................................................