My heart space was raped. I woke up numb, with a stinging pain. In my sleep they came with chisels and hammers and spade scratched and burned and tried every brutal means to erase the names... of everything that was dear to me. I woke up ashamed, enraged, with a gnawing ache. Empty, traumatized. I kept staring blankly into the nothingness ahead of me... and also behind. Everything had been erased. I was back into vacuum, alone, afraid.