The blade is calling.
I say that, but I do not yet know if it is a blade.
Maybe a shard.
Or an edge?
No matter what it is, it's calling.
"Blood... you want to see it. Don't even lie to yourself. "
I'm not lying.
I miss the rush.
I miss it.
I tell myself, that, when I'm older, I'll go back to it.
That I'll have my release back.
But will I?
Will I have the blades, shards and edges?
I do not know.
I don't know if I'll have anything or everything.
Seeing the scars, the blood, the meat, the opening...
Seeing it all excited me.
The thought makes my mouth water.
Oh, how I miss it.
I miss it dearly.
But, sometimes, you just gotta keep it a secret.