That day I guess I had something more to say. But I couldn't. I had a lump in my throat and my lips couldn't move. Not the best at hiding my tears, but that day I did. I did it for the people around me, my best friend, for the people who cared. Went to my room and burst out crying. Played loud music so nobody could hear me. Ya, it was that day when you messaged me it was over.
After crying for about an hour, my eyes swollen and pink, nose running and no more tears to shed, I looked at that message again. Anger rolled over me, wanted to call you and just bombard you with words.
But suddenly a thought washed over me, and I stopped. I did not reply. Thinking that even I was not happy in that relationship, it used to exhaust me up. Waiting for your messages, getting ignored, your lying to me, our fights, late night crying, trust issues. Whoa, your absence is so loud. Even then I thought to myself - what's going to make me happy besides this person?.
I was scrolling through our old photos. We were happy. Then I thought, that's it. It's done.
People come and go, but they leave a lesson behind. Lesson learned well - if we constantly put others first, we teach ourselves that we come second. Putting yourself first is not selfish.