College? What are you, stupid? I'll just stick to a low paying, physically demanding, dead end career. With minimal to basically non existing benefits and extremely unfair working conditions. Not even to mention the asbestos or the constant taste of fluoridated and rust filled water that I drink to stop the inevitable heat stroke I'll have to deal with just because of the rising temperatures. I started to just use that formaldehyde laced water just to clean the blood off my knees after the long meetings with my manager. Who apparently.. owns the entire world, and trust me... Why pray to a higher being above... when this human that has a fancy title and a name badge, knows everything that was, is, or will ever be. I guess his third divorce was all just a part of his master plan. But, when I'm heading to his office I never forget my kneepads.. (Hey, a pay raise is a pay raise... just like 20 dollars is 20 dollars). I mean, I only have to work like that for the next 35 to 45 years of my life, so I can't complain. After that... It's all smooth sailing with nothing but sunshines and rainbows in my horizon, and possibly cancer with mild dementia and arthritis, but hey! Look on the bright side... Atleast I can afford basic cable and bootleg DVDs at my studio apartment that's located half a county from where I actually work. Not sure why people hate studio apartments, I love it! I can shower, cook my breakfast burrito, watch tv and take a shit... All at the same time! Definitely a time saver. Especially with 25 hour shifts on a 8 day work week. I'm so happy I was pushed into a world filled with rising sea levels, safe spaces, sex dolls, talk shows, anal bleaching and cheeseburger pizzas! The only regret I have? I'd throw away my Caucasian born, medium-low income family and somewhat average lifestyle... Just to be black in a time that still has people that were alive during segregation, MLK speeches, and live in a neighborhood with racist cops and crooked smiles. I'd try to empower brothers and sisters by making a statement like "Black Lives Matter"... Just to watch a handful of privileged, attention seeking people change the statement to "All Lives Matter" ..without even realizing they're stripping the power from what the protest was or the cause behind it... Just so they could feel included in the revolution as well. Fine. I wish that I was born completely mixed of different races and that I was born with a name like... Winston Tyrell Gonzales Chi Jr. the III twice removed. I wish I had a half Asian, half German mother that comes from a Jewish family, that only speaks Spanish, works at an abortion clinic, has a degree in criminal justice and gender studies, with a drinking problem, just to find joy when she hosts the AA meetings at the local rec center. I wish she was married to a Half African, half albino father from a Mormon family. That works for the IRS and sells used Toyotas on the side to pay for his hobby as a golf playing, pro life supporting, anti-fascist, libertarian that voted for Trump and Obama. In his free time he sells weed to the blind, and teaches the D.A.R.E. program at every local school.
That way.... When you hear that story of my conception, which happened on Hitler's birthday... and hear I was born prematurely on New Year's day in the back of a used 1995 Fiat on route 66 at 3:30 pm during rush hour, on a traffic jammed highway with the radio playing "Stairway to Heaven" during the entire birth.. You'll hear that tale and won't judge me or anyone else. Instead you try to understand me, as you watch me shit my pants on a public bus on my way for jury duty. You'll try to understand why, and watch me cry and screech uncontrollably, just because the bus driver wouldnt stop the bus so I could catch a charmander I've always wanted to add to my collection. Instead you'll pity me, and hope I find what I'm searching for, and I'll blow the biggest snot bubble and giggle uncontrollably with the security of knowing, I cant control who I am based on the merit of being just another spawn of the chaos. You may be wondering why I'm such a nut case, but I'm only a product of this world's production. Instead , blame the chaotic environment I was born into. That's not how this works, blame the Russians for America's downfall, blame the television, blame everything, blame anything.. Beside yourself. Noones guilty, the world fucked itself up, I guess. Once they realize the situation I present to them and everything that made me who I am... They'll realize I was just another product of the environment that I was raised in, and was already decided to become exactly "me".. before I was even born... Once they take it all in... They'll rush to the nearest gun store (You know, the one right across the street from the local strip club... You can't miss it. It's south, about half a mile from that ridiculously expensive daycare center with blacked out windows... if you see the liquor store with a half naked silhouette of a fat lady dancing on 5.7 liter, 385 horsepower hemi engine... you're almost there).. They'll walk into this gunstore that is family owned, and up for sale.... They'll walk right up to the clerk and look straight towards his coal smeared face that's perfectly complemented by a pair of bloodshot eyes and a smile that looks like they've used battery acid as toothpaste since the Vietnam war. They'll make note to have nightmares about that shop owners bear trap of a mouth, and then proceed to buy an AR-15. One that has an American flag on one side, and "In God We Trust" printed on the other side. They'll buy this gun with half the payment on their 3rd credit card (because the other two are maxed out with 28% APR) and the other half with novelty coins and 2 dollar bills. After the purchase, They'll drive 20 to 30 miles over the speed limit all the way to their mobile home that always greets them with half a mountain of dirty dishes and enough unwashed laundry to wake a coma patient just from the smell. All these clothes and they'll still be the person to bitch about not having anything to wear to their uncle's "prison release party". They run straight through the front door and sit down on a piss stained mattress, after they moved the empty beer cans and playboy magazines out of the way. They'll take one last look at the cockroaches running across that moldy floor...and shoot themselves in the face. Not once, but twice. Only because they couldn't aim it correctly for the first shot because they couldn't afford glasses or even turn on the lights because they couldn't pay their electric bill due to their crippling medical bills and increased cost of living. The only reason they did such a selfish and horrific act... Was because the logic of making sense of this system that was unfolding... Was just enough to want to exit life. That, ladies and gentlemen... Is the American nightmare lol.