• darknessisbliss 10w

    I wasn't going to post this, or even write it down but when I did I couldn't find a place better than here to let it out. I couldn't write further but yes, everything's fine right now.

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    The thought comes to mind is that of an ideal mother and hard working dad.
    It was same for me, until one day I had to bear the loss of one.

    24th September, 2018.
    At approx 11:45am mom arrived from a tiring journey of bus to Mumbai, her body was aching all over due to viral fever. Around 12:15am we admitted her into a nearby hospital, me along with Papa and Bhaiya. The policy didn't allowed any family member to stay back inside or around the vicinity. So we headed home to sleep, and arrive tomorrow morning with necessary supplies.

    25th September, 2018.
    Me and my brother were sound asleep, and dad in the adjacent room snoring loudly. Yet after a point, we heard his irregular gasping for breaths, like he was choking on invisible air. We were scared and mother wasn't around to handle the situation well, every single moment of those 30 seconds that followed I wish, I could've done something to prevent a loss so heavy.

    His body became stiff and face adopted dark purple shades till neck due to the efforts to survive. Neighbours tried to help, and when he took the final breath I voiced out my despair saying "Papa" one last time before it went silent. Dead silent.

    I knew in my heart the repercussions standing close to the future, my brother went to the first hospital nearby, in hopes to save him, but they already passed the verdict of death. The body was then taken to another hospital with facilities to prevent it from getting perished.

    My mother was still uninformed, and clueless of what was happening. Me and Bhaiya waited for close relatives and others to arrive as we didn't have any idea how to proceed.

    I decided to visit mother along with neighboring aunties, so I can check up on her health, my brother was devastated and wasn't in any condition to face her. I took some breakfast along with me offered by some aunty, and told myself a lie so illicit, to recite the same without any defaults in it.

    She questioned about Papa not being here, I repeated the rehearsed words, "he got fever too last night, he's sleeping still and will come later.." I made myself believe the lie and saved myself from feeling guilty.

    It was decided, that the news will be delivered by elders to my mom, and so I waited for them to arrive. When they did arrived, I left the room because I didn't wanted to torture myself more by witnessing for what was to follow.

    I entered again after few minutes, mother was silent with red in her eyes, she was in a daze, and couldn't comprehend the words correctly. I broke into tears, hugging her sides, my brother did too but her body and mind never uttered a response for another hour.