• hmahler 10w

    life’s different now and has changed so much and I feel like I have little to show for it and little to few who I can talk to about it. most my childhood I struggled with anxiety and depression and it made me different because of it. i entertained the wrong people. excepted the wrong treatment. and done toxic things to myself because I didn’t understand any of it. i blames myself and didn’t surround myself with people who helped. i really got back up when I chose that this was my life to live for myself. so i started doing healthy things that made me happy and made me want to live. and somehow I’ve been neglecting myself lately because of my relationship. I’ve been giving time to my partner, the house we call home, and what I call a business. I’ve been neglecting myself and haven’t been taking the time out I need for myself to be happy and to be okay. Life quickly sped up and I’m only 21. I still want time to enjoy for myself. But with a baby. Even more time has seemed to be getting away from me. And I’m wondering what my life will look like and consist of now. I still see patterns of struggle in communicating and trusting in others and is why I have found myself alone. But I have found serenity and solitude in being alone and feel is the only time I can have for me and be there for me. I want more people in my life but trust the right people will come and time and time again allowing more people in has proven not to be wise. I’m flustered and feel beside myself and not sure how to go about things lately or who to go to. I’ve thought about going back to therapy because as odd as it seems to pay someone it seems soothing to not have someone who’s biased in my life and who listens and can see things from the outside looking it. It helps to have her opinion and she’s helped me gain my respect back for myself.