My prior matter bloody as*hole
And I hate saying that.
I hate giving up on someone who gave me so much to look forward too.
I hate giving up on someone who made me so happy most of the time. And most of the time being keywords there.
But I was holding on to chasing after something that might not even have been there in the first place.
I hate thinking of I gave it one more shot or tried a little harder just may be it would have worked out.
But it wasn't me that needed to try harder and that's what I keep reminding to myself.
I'm done trying so hard hard for someone who makes me feel like I'm the one who not good enough for you.
I'm done sending evry first text and keeping a conversation going.
You were polite but I didn't need that. I needed honestly.
But it was never me you were unsure of, it was yourself.
I'm done trying so hard for someone who I've built up in my head to be greater than they are.
But from the bottom of my heart. I did really believe you were everything for me.
And while I wouldn't have changed a thing about you, it kind of felt like I had to change who I was. To even considered noticed by you.
And I tried. I couldn't have tried harder for someone.
I don't know what more I could have done. I don't know what I kinder words I could have said.
But I'm tired.
I'm out of ideas of how to win you over.
If you have to try that hard they probably aren't worth it. But I wanted you to be.
I didn't want to look back and months to consider them as wasted.
I'm done try in to defend you when my friend say I'm waiting time.
Because I didn't want them right about you.
Because I really think that you were different.
I'm done going out of my way to see you or try and make you happy.
I'm done staring at a phone wondering when you'll answer.
I'm done playing some game I didn't sign up for and every time I learned the rules you simply put the game pause.
I'm done feeling like some option when all I've ever done is make you priority.