To many times I have hated myself for things that I truely want to change, it's just that I don't fathom the ability to utilize the utilities that are living dormant inside my brain to overcome insecurities, and change them without overthinking and just ending up in the same place! I can't stand going in circles, I have never liked the dizzy feeling it gives me to constantly rewind and go in the same footsteps that I did before! There's a canvas of sand and there's only one line scraped so deeply in it, I want to use a different color, I want to jump backwards, or maybe even sidestep, I'd even go the same direction if I knew it was for the last time! I'm sorry to myself for not setting you free, it's so lonely in here and it's all because of yours truly, I should have let you go when you started to see me, but you know it's hard to fix a broken record after all, it never plays the same again, and to me, what's really worse? The same broken track on the same broken record or trying to glue back together a lifetime lost in your own mind because the only thing you have to hold it together is glue that's dried to the inside of the bottle, so you spend your time spinning your wheels trying to moisten the glue, to piece you back together, idk which is worse anymore, can't I just start over new?