• mickeysarah 24w

    Another suicide thought!

    As always I do cry but today it was different. Never felt any depressed thoughts for I was fantasized by a real love that I coulde see stars even in the blue sky. He is not the reason for my suicide thoughts, I don't anyone to talk about that I wanted to die out of sadness just because of him, he is the boost and the energy that makes me live. A hope that won't kill me but makes me live and love myslef that I was unable to do ever in my life. I want people to talk good about this good soul who loved me unconditionally and Not kill him alive having allegations for choosing this path to end my life. One more thing, I beg from all of you to not say anything to him and not question his love for me. People may say wasn't his love enough to make her live or whatever to be happy. One point is that I'm not alike like other girls and I'm super different. Another thing! People may say if I really loved him I would not have chosen this path. Alright, why is it always about 'him'. I too have a home a family. Again! People may say that I was not able to get him or sort of whatever cooked up stories they'll come up with, but it will be that I died for him and love and all shit they'll talk. No one knows about us. So please don't judge! I know he'll embrace a lot pain and I don't want anyone to add up more. I want him to embrace love and forget all the pain and hurt. For he gets someone more deserving. I don't mind people forgetting me. But still don't hurt him. Let's talk about family now, as usual super strict but kind of different story here. I'm crazy and so obsessed with my studies, but here they want me to do more of education a nd reach so etching that is not my goal, its their vision and objectives not mine. Why can't I get my own life? Why can't I choose?
    All I know is that my voice will nevr be heard I'll be suppressed, like a bird caged, dreams buried alive and wings clipped with a throat slit. No understanding! The scars are for someone who broke up with me LOL what do you expect me from the society when the family thinks so. All of you love me and I'm greatful but If i don't get my life and reach my dreams, this is not my life and I'm not born to this. I fought and I'm not strong anymore and I 've no strength I back out. This is stupid for some but still no one knows me for just one man who is trying to figure out, the man for I am living. I'm something more than a human. No allegations on anyone and I love u all. I don't want a life of a coward and I'm not born to this, I'll end it so everyone will be at peace and they say these 're just petty thoughts when compared with their ones. I don't wanna hurt anyone and I'm done getting hurt. Don't want to be a burden or anything. Please live your lives happily. I love u all.