The raindrops race down my windowsill and so do the tears from my eyes. Deep down I'm rooting for the right one to win but it's the left one that comes first. The left tear signifying pain, the saltiness, the sorrow buried deep within.
I wipe my eyes and cheeks. I look at the time. It's time to cook. I go. I do my deeds. I come back and sit with my drops on the windowsill again. It's monotony with no desire. Often I don't feel like I'm the turmoil. Sometimes it's nothing. It's not the storm. It's not the desire. It's tedium. I don't know how to love the petrichor on this day. I don't know how to make coffee and chatter on this day. All i know is that I'm aimlessly walking miles with my thumb on the electronic pandora.
note: I feel like I haven't written well in so long. And I feel like this. Exactly like this. And I don't know what to do. So I greet my old friend with a wistful smile. I hope you'll say hello too. <3
I know you are strong.Loads of love to you. And eventually everything will fall into the right place. Gehna you are precious
gehna09The fact that I get so much love and acceptance for all kinds of thoughts here @raika and that you make me still feel included in the whole community despite me being an introvert here is a lot. I'm smiling and I'm stronger. Thanks bb
gehna09@iamsleepy isn't it always the little things that make us carry ourselves forth? groundbreaking things fill me with gratitude but these little things are the ones that help me in the face of adversity of any kind. As for the pieces of yourself to apparently unworthy people, they don't deserve it but we still go around. Been there done that. But my only tiny piece of advice would be to start again. It's hard. It requires a lot of patience but trust me it'll get better.
I'm hanging in here. And I hope so are you. Take care :D
gehna09Ah @__maryam__ I know it will. I just need the will. And thank you so much bb. You guys make me feel so precious! Love you a gazillion tonnes and as much as I want to connect with everyone and be social. I feel a lil drained out but I will update you queen.
tanya_08I hope you are all right! N ppl who love you are just right there..take a deep breath..look around.. everyone's there! We love u kiddo..❣️ hang in there, everything would be alright!! That's all i can say..