• jamescarrillo 10w

    To You From Me

    I wrote a poem for you.
    Let's call you me
    Me, you, him, they
    I want to say
    I wrote a poem for James
    I've seen you seethe in anger, cry, outrage
    I've seen you cry in different ways
    Waking with pillows soaked with guilt, heartache, embarrassment and longing
    I've heard your laughter so deep and real that it echoes on the lips of others -
    - hearty
    I have seen you laugh as a torment disapproval, disgust, dismissal
    You've hurt and hurt others with intent and by accident
    Your tongue is sharp -- double edged
    Remember this, "One day your ass is going to be kicked because of your mouth!"
    How old were you the first time that was said to you through gritted teeth?
    Eight? Nine? Eleven? twelve? -- early
    What is this dissociative mess?
    Is this an apology or a thank you note?
    I'm sorry you're a "dick," because you hurt people's feelings
    I'm sorry you're a "bastard."
    A bastard from a legitimate couple, but abandoned by a father who walked in the
    same house, slept in a room near you who gave up on you at thirteen.
    A bastard because of your "fucking mouth"
    I'm a bastard, because I stood up for my mother rather than allowing a closed
    mouth and silent tongue as my sisters bullied their mother. My mother -- a
    mother I miss.
    Thank you for the truth
    You try your most to speak the truth.
    Yes, you may flourish, elaborate, embellish, or "Mad Libs" it when a memory
    becomes vague or faint.
    Thank you for being kind.
    Yes, it's true. You can be.
    James, why did I write this note?
    Because sometimes we forget