Letters To The Universe - 1
We have been at odds with each other time and again. But, I guess this is what makes our relationship so dynamic and strong. My firm belief stemming over the time that you always had had my back. Though not obvious at that point in time. Times when I have cursed you left, right and center. And incessantly demanded why me again and again. To the extent of almost giving up hope and believing that the end was near. So much pain, suffocating me with its intensity and darkness. Cast adrift in an unexplored ocean without life support... pulling me down under.
Oh! What a temptation it was to give into it. To let this darkness consume me and become my poison, to revel in it... to feed my shadows on this nectar of darkness. Going through a paradigm of super intense emotions on one side of the spectrum... Anger, frustration, greed, lust, violence towards self to name a few. To be so lost in this darkness that it encompassed all and beyond. And despite all of this, to paste a smile and go about as if nothing was wrong. Everything normal was effort... effort and more effort.
But, in the end, whatever little light was left decided to push back this darkness. And that became the turning point over time. A realization dawned that I was being taught a critical lesson on my journey to my soul. Which asked me to reflect on what I got to know about myself and how aware was I about it.
The depths explored gave a measure of self. Sans any artifice or armor that shrouds it. Of the self-imposed shackles that impede the knowledge of self.
All broken to evoke the true me... Not the mirage I thought I was. The raw unprocessed me. Naked bared to me after ages. Accepting and loving myself... the flaws... the imperfections that made up the unique me.
THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT ME.
Commencing a journey of self-acceptance, self-love, and self-forgiveness eventually leading to self-healing. The wounds inflicted by ourselves festering... their existence unknown suppressed by the gilt-edged veneer. Truly coming to terms with self... the person I was.
A path through a lifetime.
Though, darkness still resides within but as a well-harnessed beast. To be directed as and when required. For the chaos is as necessary for growth as the order is.
It has been one of the most profound lesson till date. Though, I am sure many more are yet to come. And now, I am ready to take them heads on.
Gratitude & Love Forever